I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Randomize
