I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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