Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
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