wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
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