The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
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