So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
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