I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
