Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
