Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Randomize
