I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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