VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize