I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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