So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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