While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Randomize