drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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