I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize