on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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