Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
