why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize