I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
