Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Is Oprah even human
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
