Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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