Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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