i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
