you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Randomize
