some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
where does the pee come out of this thing
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize