The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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