I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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