Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
