Is it because I queefed?
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Randomize
