I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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