I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
