Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
it's great music for shaving your balls
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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