It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
