I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
