Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Randomize
