also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Randomize
