Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
