I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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