No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
