That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
