He is an equal opportunity slut.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
