A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize