Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
