Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Randomize
