Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
