you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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