Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Randomize
