i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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