Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
