I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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