She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
