I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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