are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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