Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Randomize
