Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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