Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
so much tequila, so little girl.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Randomize
