first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
my shit smells like andre
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
