If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
