just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize